My parents had more or less lost interest in child-rearing by the time I came along, a decade after they’d already had three kids. My mother was dramatic and unpredictable which left me a little scared of the world.

If I had a less-than-idyllic childhood, I’ve probably had a happier-than-average adulthood, thanks to fate bringing my soulmate to whom I’ve been married for 44 years.

After marriage, I started college with journalism classes. I worried, though, that if I ever had children I would be like my mother. I reasoned that teachers are generally patient and kind to kids, so…

My morning walk time came and went because Dog Mom was too busy whining about Medium. There was the usual moaning about writer’s block, bellyaching about editors and griping about “stats”, which is apparently more important than my full bladder.

I’ve been watching closely — partly to see if she’ll forget that half-eaten muffin — and I have a few ideas of my own. I jotted these down while she was out getting the mail and still have time to jump on every piece of furniture in the house before she gets back.

Let me know if you think I’m…

Forget Karens. I’m dealing with young wisenheimers who seem to think writing on Medium is only for ankle-biters like them. So listen up, all you Kyles and Brittanys — those of us who grew up in the 60s can monkeyshine with the best of you! Need proof? Keep an eye peeled for these on-the-button headlines I plan to pursue in the weeks ahead. And that’s no humbuggery.

1) How to Get That “Young People Smell” Out of Your House

2) Battle Royale: Green Acres vs. Gilligan’s Island

3) A Letter From My Boxes of Photographs

4) Too Many Doilies? …

“This problem is the result of temperature changes and the soil you have here,” he said, pointing at the gap that had opened between the house and the porch, “I’d be willing to bet your foundation issues are extensive.” Extensive is contractor-speak for expensive.

Silly us, carelessly leaving our house outdoors. But ultimately this Pangea-like drifting was caused by trying to be something we are not — dedicated homeowners. Managing a house is an endeavor many people navigate happily and well. We are not those people.

We did it because our elders told us to. “It’s a great investment,” they…