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The Boomer Weed Fiasco
Our kids live in Seattle and we grew up in the age of Aquarius. Add that together and you get two 60-year-olds and their son on a trip to Uncle Ike’s, whose toll-free number is 1–800-GET WEED.
We enjoyed smoking pot “back in the day” but abstained (and denied) until our kids were grown. If you think the fun of children ends when they’re no longer little, try receiving some stash and a tiny pipe from your son as a 55th birthday gift. It was like someone handing us back our youth.
The husband and I made a weekend out of it by staying at a hotel within walking distance of a great Italian restaurant (we haven’t forgotten everything about this.) Giggling at different pasta names — Strozzapretti! Cavatappi! Tagliatelle! — was more entertaining than I could have imagined.
Fast forward to last summer. If you’ve never been to one of these cannabis outlets, it’s a real experience.
Clean glass cases beckon with every manner of smokable and edible marijuana. The day’s specials are listed on a large chalkboard and, for a dollar, you can buy a machine-rolled joint in a neat little case. All very professional. It was, by turns, embarrassing, exciting and satisfying.
We’ve been dreaming of legal weed for decades. Why should some states get to have all the fun? Like cartoon characters with a new idea, light bulbs appeared over our heads. We — two law-abiding seniors — would somehow fool federal law enforcement and get an exciting package back to Georgia.
A bit of research revealed it is not safe to carry what the DEA calls a “Schedule I Substance” through an airport. That’s one point in our favor (spoiler alert: it’s the only one.) We settled on mailing the contraband.
My idea involved buying a new a hard cover book, cutting out the middle pages to accommodate our purchase, then somehow shrink-wrapping the book so it looks brand new and unopened and mailing that. Possibly I’ve seen one too many spy movies.
I won’t say that my husband is a bad listener but, unlike me, he is a confident person who thinks he knows how to manage most things. So he is often half- hearing, having moved onto his next great thought rather than paying close attention to what he is being told.
